Saturday, November 30, 2013

Depression and PTSD

Ive been feeling soo down lately.
I have panic attacks very often. I have intrusive memories and nightmares so i dont sleep sometimes. I feel so separated from the rest of the world.
I see people gathering together with friends and wish i had friends like that but i cant trust anyone that much to want to get together with.
I have trouble concentrating. Im just not focused anymore.
I cant have normal relationships with people outside of the internet besides those i go to church with. I hate always crying. Makes me feel weak.

I disassociate. Its what i do to survive everyday. I just go and its so much easier to now then when i was 11.
I often wish people could have gotten to know me before i died. I was a completely different girl.

I am just overwhelming sad all the time. Its really not the way to live life.

It's this fighting battle i cant seem to win. = (

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